Today is probably the most tired day of my life. No basketball practice, nothing, but I feel as if the world has just crumbled down. being a middleman, being glue, being the one nonchalant about the shit around the world, staying positive about everything, it's just so effing tiring. When you hear about negative stuffs and disappointment, you feel like slapping yourself. But how to do it? Not that I'm an octopus right.
BUTBUT, seeing people smile because of you really makes your heart feel warm. Nothing can replace that, really.

Everybody seems to be so sad about their results): Results were ok I suppose, just that I really wonder why I can't meet my expectations and my parents'. It isn't that I'm not working hard enough damn it, I just lack self-control to study for the entire week non-stop. Coffee doesn't do miracles, nor do I have the perseverance to constantly search for the joy which I found in studies in the past. I lack interest and every damn thing I used to have. Everything's replaced with burden and a need to do better.
Whatever. Hard work doesn't pay off. Maybe it does, just a teeny weeny little bit. To make you feel better, to make you give excuses for yourself that you tried your best.

Was collecting the language arts papers and went to the toilet with syl when i sound people crying, eyes swollen and friends trying their best to render help and consolation, by passing them tissue. I just felt super sad at that moment, even though I hardly know the person, but I really wonder why we must study in the first place. Why should there even be examinations when good results make you strive for the better while bad ones make you sad and crying your heart out? If everyone were to succeed, what's success?

Syl is right probably. It's sadder to see your friend cry and not knowing what to do, than to receive bad results and feeling melancholic. I just hope that people come out of those bad feelings fast one day. Learning to be strong is one great advice that is easy to give but hard to follow.

Let's talk about brighter and happier stuffs(: Uh. No school tomorrow. ok lah, watching movies don't count do they. and we gonna bargain for pe lessons haha. then there gonna be training. train train train.
muscle aches yay(: muscle cramp gone, replaced by muscle aches. Make you feel fitter although it doesn't change the fact that you are fat. BLUH.
I suddenly thought of the strawberry cookies I koped from Jingmei haha. I feel loved suddenly. Warmth and happiness(:
Chill girl, ok. I just realised that crying is just a waste of tears, and one day, you'll feel so tired to even cry.
You'll get dehydrated too.

Played ball with Qi, Jingmei, Nicole, Crystal, Elizabeth and darachel(: Played with no hoop): geez sorry uh jacob, heh. thanks for agreeing to stay back and play ball with me uh. Sudden notice, sorrysorry ><
Jingmei the ______, can layup with 0 angle. WHATTHEHELL. I wonder how she even does it. Just fling the ball and it goes in. -.- GAH.

Tomorrow gonna be movie day I think. Ms Kheng said she would rent some nice CD and let us watch something nice, instead of TEN PROMISES TO A DOG. I forgot if it's promises or kisses. Anyway it's retarded so yah. Evil people who are going for the engineering thing were hoping that we would watch MacBeth. I've had enough of Shakespeare this year already roar.

spammed songs again. and i gonna spam somemore. school gonna end. china trip coming. trainings coming. a new year gonna start. who gonna be my classmates? will I be happier, or worse? what about new-found friends? i'll miss kezo all the same(: koping the drinks of others, making sarcastic remarks, pulling the hair, begging for praises, haha, it's too many to count. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10... take your time and the list may be done(:


>: I realised my parents know what's sensitivity actually. I always thought of them as insensitive people who did not have the ability to understand and stand in my shoes. But when I walked in my room and my mum just asked me gently you ok already?, I really felt my heart stir. Just replying an UH. and getting out of the room quickly, I felt so loved. gah. then my dad just left me alone although he probably sensed that normal flu doesn't require so much tissues. My brother even left me alone in my room and apologised when he came in even though it's HIS room I'm using the computer in. Geez, I'm speechless.
i'll get through this fast and soon I believe. Just need more laughter and more swishing chops from basketball nets and I'll do fine.

andand, sharing stuffs with others just makes it easier to stand up again, because you'll realise that you ain't alone. It's late now and I'm feeling tired. Gonna go sleep and embrace a brand new day, with hopefully no sorrows(:(:(:





>> SYL: haha(: thanks alot(: you know what i'm talking about! spamspamspam. i need your help de ok.... andand, don't be anti-social ok. cos I need people to talk to sometimes. andandand, get your PMS off fast ok. fastfast.

>> Jingmei: YOUYOUYOU. look who's talking uh! don't cry too much ok. later your eyes really turn swollen until cannot even see your already-small eyes. Then you cant gimme that gl face already. you know the face that really makes me fume cos it's so annoying haha.

>> comint: lol harlo. how did you find your way here?
anyway, i thought it's superWOMAN. heh, thanks alot(: