Was sleeping like a pig this afternoon so I guess I've to do some productive revision and get things done now.
Bio is really a headache, but I think if you really concentrate, things can really be done. It's only a matter of self-discipline and having no life.

Speaking of having no life, I really had none yesterday. Straight after school, crystal and I went to the library to mug maths.. It's Friday yet we're actually doing that -.- Walked around the school for an hour and commented about how muggy dhs people are, since the basketball court were completely empty. ha, I guess everyone wants to do their very best.

I was reading my archives randomly and I was shocked. Didn't realise that I actually spoke like that, like you know, stupid children terms. Sounded so juvenile and pathetically simple, considering the fact that I took almost everything at surface value, and there was hardly any thinking or brooding over stuffs, except for rantings and ravings about daily mundane life -.- And all those stupid smiley faces and emoticons like this --> >< =)) and exclamation marks !!! and my proclamation of love for everyone... ew.
Seriously, SIAO -.-
AH.
I felt so terribly disgusted that I contemplated deleting my archives, but decided otherwise, since they could remind me of events that I forgot. My opinions of people then, didn't even occur to me, and it is kinda amazing how my perspective and mindset changed in just a matter of years.

Yeah, talking about change. changechangechange. Was talking to my mum that day and we were sharing about many things. Told her about the changes about my friends (okay, acquaintances), and she said that life was just like that. People walked in and out of your life, leaving footprints, but not necessarily making any impact on you. We can't possibly keep everything by our side, since perspectives change, opinions change, people change, we change.

Yeah, so maybe cos you changed and we could not catch up with your change, that's why things are what they are now? The distance grew as the days went by, the long awkwardness of having nothing to say made the silence even louder; everything was unspoken, yet everyone was well-aware of the drastic change, but no one was willing to break the ice and bring up the topic, as if it was a taboo. Or maybe it was because we just didn't bother, because of what we perceived as a meaningless effort to revive a shallow friendship or because we didn't know how to manage the silent moments which will only become longer if things didn't turn out the way we hoped it would have, I seriously don't know.
I agreed with my mum that it takes two hands to clap, but it only takes one to break the awkwardness. Things were already bad enough, but you just had to go one step further. Now, not only do we have nothing to say, we have to ignore the presence of each other and treat it as something non-existent. Things will turn more awkward when exams are over. Really.

Sigh.
The turn of events really really make me wonder; what's about friendship that makes it stronger and what's in the relationship that makes things go U-Turn and everything just turns drastic and starts going downhill? Discussed this with Chan like godzillion times and still have not come to a conclusion. The problem about me is that, when I think, I want a conclusion that is satisfactory, not patronizing. And when I think, I can't really stop my train of thoughts. Nor can I ignore it totally.
Kinda bad, since I need to learn to let things go.

Ah, back to mugging.
mugmugmug.
My siblings gonna go downstairs to play with firework sticks lol. Wonder if I gonna join them, cos I'm feeling really lazy.
Gotta study the basics first before practising.
A Maths is driving me nuts. stupid thing that doesn't make any sense except making you go bonkers.

OHOH, and I found renee's book(: It was standing nicely on the shelf, together with a few other books which have not been returned lol. Was searching for TKAM and Merchant of Venice notes for Hunghui and uncovered it. I think that's what they say about getting things in return for doing a good deed. Didn't know the book was there all along, and to think I thought I accidentally dropped it in the library bookdrop all the while -.-

Tag Replies:
Qi>> =.=
Rae>> very enthu horh. I hate running on threadmills, there's no target at all lo. and you know what, don't gl lah -.-
Jacob>> lol yeah set. mugmugmug. I nidda help on physics siaz.


Isn't it crazy how day turns into night
Isn't it crazy how things can be going so right
And all of a sudden you're going way too fast
lost control of the wheel and there's no way to get back
Stop this Train (Claude Kelly)

when there's no way to stop it, you just have to go with the flow