Had huge progress in the presentation for the UN Mock Conference although I think I still have a long way to go.
Shall blog awhile before chionging it though.

Sigh, today's match against Dunman Sec was...... numb? What was the score? 67 - 15 is it? I don't know.
Like what Rae said, it was numb and lack of feeling, energy and everything.
They were fast, I felt panicked, suddenly felt as if I could not control the ball properly and lacked a great load of confidence.

I NEED SELF-CONFIDENCE.
Seriously that's the greatest contrast between me and my bro. The way he plays ball makes you feel he is damn bloody cocky, but it's just that he's confident and he believes he can score a basket, although his attempts aren't 100% successful. Sometimes his shots are really crappy, but they draw fouls during the game, and that's what actually matters right?
And what about the kuku over here? oh wells, she's just afraid that she will lose the ball and can't even catch the bloody ball properly. Aspires to play well but is too weak and feeble to do so.
Kana sai -.-

My coach has told me since primary school that I don't show any confidence when I play ball. So for the past 6 years of my life, I haven't changed a single bit. This sudden realisation makes me feel....... emotional.
The initial thought that I have finally improved over the years but have actually done nothing except straying in the same pathetic spot while everyone else is improving by leaps and bounds, makes me feel as if I've wasted my past 6 years. It's as if I've gained nothing. Oh eff.. Talk about going back to square one.
But I guess I matured a lot through this physical tough game.

I think my mentality sucks. I guess I just appear strong and carefree. Unlike people who think super highly of themselves, I don't believe I'm good enough for anything. It isn't just basketball, this applies to other stuffs too.
Maybe the only thing I'm confident of is my ability to sleep.
hah.

Speaking of which, TODAY WAS A TIRED day for me. I don't know, I just dozed off during history class, even though it was the only lesson for me today. Sigh.
I wish I would have one hour of good quality sleep. Really miss the feeling of waking up naturally, feeling fresh and happy. I get contented easily, really. Just give me a good sleep lah PLEASE.
Nowadays I feel so lethargic but when I go to bed, I don't fall asleep immediately. Gah, tossing and turning in bed wouldn't help you lose weight right?