I can't figure myself, and probably never will.
People cry to reduce their misery or release their pent-up frustrations. Me? I cry when I'm disappointed.
Hell, as if my eye bags were not big enough.
Cried shit lot today though no one will understand why.

Saw this tweet on twitter.
Smiling is always easier than explaining why you're sad

Makes so much sense and after reading all her tweets, I actually felt better. I guess it feels good to know that there is someone out there going through a life which is probably 10x worse than yours. Call it mockery, self-deception, being disillusioned, whatever. My mind has been going through a rollercoaster ride ever since I've been trying to figure out the best way to have self-control this morning.

Today was kinda a waste since I only managed to finish what I was supposed to complete THIS MORNING. Damn. I'm behaving as if eoys are already over, napping here and there!

Yesterday was great though. Attempted a few shots, sweated it out. The feeling of adrenaline.... awesome.
So 5 papers down, how many more to go?? 5? I'm feeling kind of lucky being in the first few rows so I don't shiverrrrrr much or get a brain freeze.

Feeling really numb these days. No anticipation for anything. Knowing that the paper was probably screwed up but I really don't feel anything. It's definitely a good thing since I won't have panic attacks, but I"m really questioning my ability to feel.
Maybe I was born to be cold-hearted. or maybe it was pure selfishness so no one will see the other side of me I never wanted to portray.

Bloody hell what am I doing.
Gonna go off to do some work. And hopefully catch some teevee. And complete the things I should have completed in the afternoon in like what, 3 hours?