10:30 PM | Wednesday, January 26, 2011 | Link
Shoot
Shoot your mouth, complete shots.
Depends on how you see it, anyway I gonna blog about both.

Due to my decreasing blog readership, I feel more secure typing stuff here.
I'm straightforward and a little crude, maybe even harsh. Hafta change that else I'll offend the world sooner or later! Though going a whole big round is mentally tiring and challenging. AGH.

Who knew 4 words could affect us so much? Man, this says hell lot about our ego and pride. In the past, we had a goal, mainly cos of overwhelming expectations. Now, when people doubt us, we create that target and hell, it's going to be tough, but we gonna make it (:

Didn't stretch my limits before, shall make this the first.

Mm so 2 weeks of school has gone by and this would be the third. Kind of like the environment of independent studying, and you can do things as and when you like, but I miss the days when school ended and tada, nothing related to school work for the next 10 hours? End of school simply means no more lectures, but that does not equate to lesser mugging. DAMN.

My lappy is sent for repair and I feel handicapped without it. And I sorta lost the touch for blogging. Lost interest and don't really see a point.
Today was the first time I consider closing down this personal space. Should I just leave it hibernating, only to be updated once in a while, or just close it down completely? On days I feel like blogging, I lack the time. And when I've truckloads of time, I feel that I'm just obligated to blog.

Hate dilemmas, hate conflict, hate people who judge me (although I always judge), hate it when everything just falls short of expectations.... in short,
sucks to be me.



10:38 PM | Saturday, January 08, 2011 | Link
At a loss
Have been neglecting this space or quite some time. To think I wanted to complete my blog post about the Korea trip tomorrow, just before school reopens, only to know that my laptop crashed zzz.

School's starting in a few days but I don't feel anything. When I was younger I would get abit nuts about the start of a brand new year, especially a school term. Would pack my table especially early, get new stuff and be unable to sleep the day before school starts!
Now, the table which I packed just a few days ago has clothes strewn all over the place. My mood just makes a complete turn whenever I think of my spooky laptop argh. Hope my 15GB of music doesn't disappear like that! My backup is really old and the recent songs were my favourite ones.

I wonder how psychologists survive. What's going through their minds when they realize that they cannot do anything to help their patients? Maybe they cannot even get through the barrier between them, not to mention relieve their emotional pain. I don't know, I always felt a sense of loss whenever I encounter people with problems because I am at a loss of what to say or do. There is a sense of worry that you might unconsciously say the wrong stuff and make things worse.
When I am emotional, I wish people would leave me alone. Yet at the same time I wished I wasn't alone cos I feel lonely. Ironic, yes indeed, but the human mind has always been complex and unexplainable isn't it. Not to mention that I am really weird.

And I just had to see those pics after feeling like shit.
Maybe I was deceiving myself al along, like telling myself that no matter how bad things are, if they were concealed, with cloth, i can pretend that things never changed, and maybe everything was undergoing a momentary change. One day, when I wake up, things would have gone back to status quo.
HA.
Deluded.
Forget it, told myself that I would wash my hands off that stupid thing.

Chingay briefing today again, this time we were split into groups and I foresee more responsibilities coming up.
Watching thesupernatural now, hope I won't get spooked till I can't fall asleep!

One thing i've learnt, courage isn't gained overnight.