12:16 PM | Sunday, September 23, 2007 | Link
peep
Blah. I am bored bored bored bored bored bored bored boredpeep
kay, I guess I'm quite crazy.
BUT I NEED TO GET MY POINT ACROSS.
I AM BOREDD!!
I think that was quite enough. (: I'm quite happy now. DE-STRESSing is always nice. Actually I don't think I'm really stressed now cos my parents didn't stress me, which is nice; they still let me use the com without any time restrictions or anything and I studied for quite some while so I gonna devote 30 minutes to this blog post. (: I wished that the image wasn't that PINK. -.-
Nevermind, I found a black and white one. But the posture is weird. -.o
HAHA. I sit like that sometimes.
Just read through some emails and I quite like this one. Very straight-forward and makes sense (: I felt "lighter" after reading this. =D I love nice mails.
CORPORATE LESSONSSo, we will be going through change Here's three lessons from large corporations to help you survive change
CORPORATE LESSON 1:
CORPORATE LESSON 2:
CORPORATE LESSON 3:
MUAHHAHAHA. True? (: I like the last part. Whatever that covers you with shit may not be your enemy. (:
WHATEVER THAT COVERS YOU WITH SHIT MAY NOT BE YOUR ENEMY
Another one....
i getting very headache reading this mail . . . :-) bk
=======================================
Do You Think English is Easy???
Can you read these right the first time?
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce .
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present , he thought it was time to present the present .
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant,
nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins
weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are
candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English
for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can
work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from
Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't
the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One
index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not
one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one
of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the
English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by
truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a
wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you
fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going
on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all That
is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are
out, they are invisible.
PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"
You lovers of the English language might enjoy this
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other
two-letter word, and that is "UP."
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the
list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting,
why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP
for election and why is it UPto the secretary to write UP a report ?
We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP
the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP
the house and some guys fix UP the old car . At other times the little
word has real special meaning. People stirUP trouble, line UP for
tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one
thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped
UP .. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP ! To be knowledgeable about the
proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized
dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about
thirty definitions. I f you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list
of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if
you don't give UP, you may windUP with a hundred or more. When it
threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we
say it is clearing UP .
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP .
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP,
so........... it is time to shut UP .....!
Oh . . one more thing:
What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at
night? U-P
The pronunciation thing was ok. I am lame.
I think I got Rachel's disease. DAMN IT.
Last one.
BOSS & I
When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough
When I don't do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy,
When I do something without being told,
I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative,
When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
he is cooperating,
When I make a mistake,
you're an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
he's only human.
When I am out of the office,
I am wandering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
he's on business.
When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
he must be very ill.
When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an interview
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's overworked
When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets
So that's the reason why I aspire to be a boss. (: Difficult eh. Most high positions are all taken up by males. This is what we call PREJUDICE. So shit can.
I decided to post a very last one. In chinese. It's about the fun of making sentences and how stupid a child can get. (: I shall make the font bigger.
1.题目 : 原来
小朋友写 : 原来他是我爸爸。
老师评语 : 妈妈关切一下
3. 题目: ..一边 ...........一边 ............ ..
小朋友写: 他一边脱衣服,一边穿裤子 .
老师评语: 他到底要脱还是要穿啊~~
9. 题目: 其中
小朋友写: 我的其中一只左脚受伤了。
老师评语: 你是蜈蚣？ ~~
10.题目 : 一 ...就....
小朋友写: 一只娃娃就要一百块。
老师评语: 老师笑到不行 ..
11.題目 : 你看
小朋友写 : 你看什么看 ! 没看过啊
12. 照样造句
例题: 你(唱歌 ) 我( 跳舞)
小朋友写 : 你( 好吗) 我 (很好)
老师评语: 你在写英文翻译吗 ??
13.照样造句
例题: 别人都夸我 ( )，其实我 ( )
小朋友写: 别人都夸我( 很帅 )，其实我 ( 是戴面具的 ) 。
老师评语: 什么面具这么好用 ???
14. 题目: 好 ... 又好 ..
小朋友写: 妈妈的腿 ,好细又好粗 ...
老师评语: 那到底是细还是粗？
15.题目 : 陆陆续续
小朋友写 : 下班了，爸爸陆陆续续的回来。
老师评语 : 你到底有几个爸爸呀?
20.题目: 皮开肉绽
小朋友写: 停电的夜晚，到处很黑，我吓得皮开肉绽!
老师评语 : 看到这句... 老师佩服你。
21.题目 : 欣欣向荣- 比喻生长美好的样子。
小朋友写: 我的弟弟长得欣欣向荣。
老师评语: 孩子，你弟弟是植物人吗...
还有一个更瞎的 …
小朋友写: 欣欣向荣荣告白。
老师评语: 连续剧不要看太多 ~~
22. 题目: 谢谢 ....因为 ......
小朋友写: 我要谢谢妈妈 ,因为她每天都帮我写作业 ......
老师评语: 原来你的作业是妈妈写的!!!!!!!
23. 题目: 难过
小朋友写: 我家门前有条水沟很难过。
老师评语: 老师更难过 ......
26. 题目: 天才
小朋友写: 我３天才洗一次澡。
老师评语: 要每天洗才干净 ~~
27.題目 : 一 …便…
小朋友写 : 我一走出门，对面就是便利商店。
还有一個更瞎的 …
小朋友写 : 哥哥一吃完饭，就大便。
老师评语 : 造句不要乱造...
31. 題目: 又 .....又 .....
小朋友寫: 我的妈妈又矮又高又瘦又肥。
老师评语: 你妈妈......是怪物吗 ?
32 果然
上课小朋友说：昨天我吃了水果，然后又喝了凉水
老师：这是词组，不能分开造句。
小朋友又说：老师，我还没说完呢，果然晚上我拉肚子了！
老师： …………
33 瓜分
小朋友：大傻瓜分不清是非
老师：小傻瓜也分不清
34 好吃
小朋友：好吃个屁
老师：………
35 况且
小朋友：一辆火车经过，况且况且况且况且．．．．．
老师： ……………
I don't understand some but it may take quite a while to understand. =D The joke in this joke is that the little kiddo DID use the words in his sentence but the way he used them were not in form of noun or verb. (:
yay, procrastinated for 20 minutes.
Ate roti prata in the morning for breakfast. Ate a plain and one with egg. Then shared a ------ one with my family. Didn't know what the name was but it was B.I.G.
Then used the com until now and I'm still gonna use it. (:
My speaker is going crazy.
That was just so random.
Labels: jokes