Saw the news and there was this 95 year old woman who is as healthy as ever! She looks 65, and is agile enough to run. Okay, maybe brisk-walk in our context, but hello, I don't think I'll even live till 95. Even if I could, I'll probably be in stroke, frothing and shitting on my bed.
Which makes me wonder if I'm better off dead. I think I wanna sign a contract to allow euthanasia to be applied on me in such a case. What for, living life like that, implicating my loved ones around me? Not to mention that the idea of a tube through my nose doesn't sound appealing.

For those who can sense, I aint in the best of moods now. SUCKS.
So I resorted to browsing through my pix on facebook to feel better, and it did, heh thanks memories (:
These photos are really lagged, but it's never too late right!






Reunion @ Rae's house (:



CHINGAY. Loads of experience, and didn't regret one bit in joining it.
Although I definitely wished it did not rain on Friday! Agh, disgusting mud...

Training was fine yesterday, except I can't help but feel that we're a burden to the guys. Seriously, it's like wasting their time, although i know they don't mind. Burggghhh.
Shouted for the first time in my sec school life in dunman high. The rest were amused, but I wasn't. This year has been a year of many revelations for myself, and it's like discovering that my life has more depth and layers, contrary to what I think.

It began as utter shock and being emotional, to the urge that there is a need to do something, to the disappointment, to the persistent clutch on the faith that kept me going, and now to the realisation that there is nothing else I can do. So I'm washing my hands off this, but the annoying fact is that i cannot ignore it totally because it will affect me somehow. DAMN :/
Just when I thought my heart was totally made of steel.
Guess it isn't, after all.

My mum's reprimanding her friend, LIKE REALLY loudly over the phone. I guess she just needs the harsh reality slapped right in her face. Sigh, hope life will get better for her someday.
Sucks when you place faith in everything you do, but the world is just so cruel to be in doubt.


Just back from training but don't really feel like sleeping yet. Tomorrow gonna be a horrid day.
Training was... tiring mentally and physically. If not for the match we played before that, it could have been much worse. I'm unsure of the kind of mentality I should have for training these days. The thought of it unnerves me, damn.

Typing this while waiting for my maggee mee to cook. I'm wondering what's wrong with me these days. Appetite comes and go, and the worse thing is when I FINALLY feel like eating, the canteen is either full of people or the stalls are closed. Say for today, was suddenly feeling hungry before math, but ended up having potato wedges only.
Nonono I ain't anoe, just that I hope the important things I hold very dear, will not change or make a drastic u-turn. As much as I would like people to see the strong front I always project, I don't think my heart can take it.

School has been just mundane these days I guess. IT's the same routine, and I'm definitely studying more than the past. Maybe it's more tiring at the end and the start of the day, but every day is probably more fulfilling (:
Although I wish studying could be less monotonous.

Tests were screwed, but I don't feel as much as the rest. What for, making yourself so miserable. It's dumb when you keep clinging onto the past, refusing to let go and move on. Easy as it may seem, it's probably the hardest thing to do, but once we succeed, we'll become stronger.

Just had a thought. There are so many things in life which I've yet to experience and despite the fear of facing setbacks, there is this part of me who wants the excitement of novelty. Yet to care about somemore more than a friend, yet to find someone really inspiring, yet to understand how it is like to feel like the world has just come crashing down, yet to have a reason to let my ego and pride down for once... so many yets, but I'm probably too chicken for them.


I'm tired
Training was suicidal, but we needed that push, so I'm not complaining. Love it when people share the passion for bball, and we can finally hit 9 people! :)

My mood fluctuated before training cos of the things I had to think about. History was hell. It sucks to be proven wrong. like RIGHT IN YOUR FACE. Of course, better now than never. Then there was econs to think about, and some chingay admin matters which are solved for now. AND HOMEWORK. Ohman.
And this is probably the start of the work that gonna start piling up.

I still like school though I think. Compared to working, school's still the best because you don't have to be patronising and plaster a smile on the face all the time. And lessons are awesome, except for.... AHA, the subject I'm dropping! DROPDROPDROP.

-Sometimes I really do wonder, how can people just get over things so easily? Just go on like that... How frivolous can relationships get?
Just a thought. The great things about being single, like just you-


And I need and want to blog about Korea trip and CNY, and probably Chingay after this. The mood's back. But where's the time? :/
Ohwell, WELCOME to Senior High. Lag or lag.